Archive for September, 2010

Day 23

September 22, 2010

I feel so fortunate to have what I already have.  My house, my family, my friends, my art practice.  And I love that my art practice is the thing that is making everything else possible.  I love it when people come into my studio and connect immediately with my art. I see that happening more and more often.  Years ago when I first moved to waiheke I had a sign out that front that allowed anyone to happen in if I was there.  I only do that occassionally now.  I get so many people coming by appointment that I can’t just keep the open sign out any more.  I have commissions booked up about six months in advance and I have my two annual shows each year.  It gives me so much pleasure to paint and I love where my painting has gone.  Its more subtle, more secure, more depth, more life and I got to all those spaces without forcing anything.  I did a lot of practice.  Letting go and letting the paintings come though me.  I am happy to report that all the things I thought would happen over the years had. Especially the things that I vizualised clearly and consistantly.  People coming to buy my paintings.  Exhibitions selling out.  Having fun with Jess.  Building the house.  My body being strong and slim.  Having successes in life and love.  I kept a very clear picture of those things and keep being focused on what was working.  I kept being grateful for what I had already achieved and what I already had and sucess started to come more and more quickly.  These days I make a point of thinking about what I want to create next.  I take my time vizualising it very specifically.  What does it feel like.  What does it look like.  What does it smell like.  What will I be wearing when it happens.  For example.  Today I’m thinking about people coming into my studio and buying a painting.  I see myself laughing with then.  Enjoying there company.  We talk and discuss the paintings.  They tell me what they are looking for.  We talk about waht the paintings mean for them and for me.  They choose one they like.  We agree on the payment terms.  I wrap the painting up for them.  They put it in there car and take it away.  I put a red dot on my calendar.  The process is fun and easy and delightful.  I know they are excited by the art work.  They feel it will enhance their lives.  I feel I have made a difference to them.  I feel good about my art work.  I love that it is being loved.  I see this happening more and more.  I see people who have come before coming back again.  Ringing me and asking me to bring a painting they looked at.  I take it to them. I see it hanging on thier wall. They are thrilled.  I am thrilled.  We agree on payment terms. I have another very happy customer.  It is fun being an artist.   Graeme and I are a step closer to building the house.


Day 13

September 12, 2010

Maddie is a year old and we’ve just got back from Raro.   So cool that we went for a celebration like that.  What a couple of years its been.  The last week really was just that a celebration.  Of maddie, of my realtionship with G, of the years to come of the beginging of our new house, of the start of working with Jess, of a turning point for speedrenting.  We snorkeled, and played at the beach, maddie started walking, we dinned out and ate in.  Jane, Rosanne and I went for long walks while the boys looked after the girls.  Graeme went fishing and caught fish for everyone for a week.  We explored the island in convoy and alone.  We walked through bush, we waded in the water. We shopped at the little road stalls and in the airconditioned shoped.  We laughed, we made love, we had fun.  I see myself doing a celebration trip somewhere every year.  As Maddie gets older will  become more adventruros in our travels.  We’ll go to boreno and to south amercica.  We will hike and mountian bike and try strange food and sleep in interesting places.   We we got back from Raro I found out I had sold a bunch of paintings while I was away.  I sold one in Wellington. The girls there said the lovelest couple came in.  They new my work and had been wanting one of my paintings for ages.  They bought a big work.  I sold one in Queenstown, who hadsn’t sold one in such a long time.  Mark from Queenstown rang me and asked if I could send a few more paintings down.  I sold two from the waiheke gallery.  It was liek old days again, with paintings selling as fast as I could make them.  The meeting with Jess really turned me around. I relexed and that relaxation started turning into sales in a fun and easy way.  I stopped, utterly and totally woring about the money, I knew as I sat there in the meeting that the money would come.  Just like I knew Graeme was on his way and when I read Jon Gabriels book, I just knew I was going to be slim.  All the worry feel away.  It might not be over night, but I knew it would come and its been so lovely just sitting back and watching it come in.  Watching the tide turn. Maybe slowly sometimes and quickly other times, but turn it has and I have left all worry behind.  Now I concentrate of fun and making sure people have somthing they love and making sure I love my paintings and that they are a true expression of me.  It is fun.  It is beautiful.  I am celebrating.

Day 12

September 11, 2010

I love waking up in the morning in the house that we built.  I love mostly the feel of it.  Quiet, soft, homely, comfortable, like a glove. Sure and simple.  It is a very simple house.  Small and strong with lots of personality, vet very simple in the way it stands on the land.  The view has become part of the house.  When I wake up and draw my curtains nature greets me with a different voice every day, but one that is familiar and loving.  I feel part of it.  I feel part of the house and part of the nature surronding it.  The boundaries between where I start and the world around me have finished have softened over the years.  I know I have a seperate mind, but that is just about the only thing that is seperate.  We share the sun, the weather, the particals, the stuff between the particles.  We all come from the same place and will ultimately return to the same place. That soften me and make me mold into my surroundings with peace that I’ve only found in my forties.  Building my house was a drawn out exercise of non resistance.  It doesn’t pay to get to attached to time frames and to worried about exactly how things will turn out. The more we had a plan and allowed it to bend and sway to the forces that defined it the better the project became.  Costs changed, people didn’t follow their promises, materials changed and in the end it was all fun.  In every instance we got something better than we had imagined.  Every time we let go of something we thought was important a way better result followed.  It became fun for us seeing what more we could bring to the project.  What new delights were instore.  The furnishing of the hosue became such a fun project for me.  I got two helpers, consultants and the results are just right.  We have gone for as high quaility as our budget allowed. Its a work in progress. My walls are ever changing as my art collection changes.  My bed linens are the softest and whitest I could find.  Our knives are few but very sharp.  We have a very simple kitchen.  A set of scary sharp knives.  Four big solid cutting boards a few wooden spoons and a collection of pots, pans, roasting and baking dishes.  There is not much more.  I dislike gadgets so we have a very pared back to basics ktichen.  My towel cupboard has one brand of soft towels.  All matching. I love when I open the door they are all the same.  Just love it.  While I have been part of building my house, I don’t feel like its mine.  It belongs to all who enjoy it. My doors are open to everyone I love.  I if leave this house for another I will love it and thank it for what its given us and love that it will provide happiness for the next folks.

Day 11

September 10, 2010

I look forward to the day I have such a good exhibition that I can come home and buy graeme a boat.  I won’t even tell him.  I’ll ask Brendon to help me find one, and I’ll just give him the keys and he can go and get it.  Just a small fishing boat that he can take out after work in the summer and go get us dinner.  I love that idea.  I love the idea of being able to take Maddie to LA once a year and visit Jane.  We would go and stay with her in Los Feliz.  We’d rent a car and drive through the hollywood hills, go shopping down in Santa Monica, take walks in Griffith park with Andrew and drive up the coast to Santa Barabara to visit Chad and Mary.  I see myself buying a beautiful road bike and becoming a regular riding out to the bottom end of the island. I’d go during the day when the traffic was light, come wind, rain or shine.  I’d have a place in my garage that makes it easy to clean road bikes. I can see myself riding in a riding out.  I’ll have a couple of sets of comfortable good quality gear to wear.  Great shoes and a jacket that lets me ride in comfort in any weather.  That is what I see.  I see Graeme and I taking long MTB holidays with Maddie when she is older.  We’ll go to the states, hire a car and do a different track every day.  We’ll stay at cheap motels and maybe even camp.  Those are the kind of holiday’s I can’t wait to take with my family.  I see myself as a successful artist in love with life.  My paintings mean something to everyone that buys them.  They feel something about there life everytime they look at them.  I feel them coming to me from a spiritual place and they touch people in a spiritual sense. They touch peoples spirit.  Those that have my paintings grow to love them the more they have them. They raise in value both monetary and sentimental.  They are deeply loved, for both their asethetic and they meaning.  It fills me with reward and a sense of accomplishment to know that I am touching people.  And I love that every time someone buys one of my paintings it effects not just me but my family, Jess and the entire family of the person that will own the painting.  It will be in their family inspiring them to be better people.  That is a good thing to paint for. That is a good thing to get out of bed and create in the morning.  As I go into my day today I will have my heart open. Open to the love and energy of the world.   The abunance of nature, its energy, its cycle its never ending change. Always change. Nothing is static and today I embrace that. I embrace the uncertainly and take everything as it is.  Rain and shine are equally welcomed and enjoyed.  Cold and hot are all good.

Day 10

September 9, 2010

I love being an artist.  And I love being a sucessful artist.  I love the way the paintings feel when they escape from me. When they produce themselves onto a canvas or board through me.  I love the way the colours develop and the images take place.  I love when people come and see my paintings and fall in love with them. I love the way I feel like i’ve made their world bigger.  They go away feeling enriched and enlarged by a painting that will spend its days reminding them of something important to them.  It is there for refrence forevermore.  I love being part of a happy world.  A world where people enjoy themselves, were goodness and grace and creation are an expected from life.  I love that there are no absolultes.   My art takes me on this journey and I love it for it.  I love the exhibitions I have. I love talking with the poeple and finding out about their lives and there passions, who they are, what is important to them.  And that is my life.  Making paintings, meeting and talking with interesting people.  I meet them in board rooms and exhibition halls and boats and streets.  They come to me more and more often wanting art works, wanting inspiration.  I am offering a depth of wealth to the world and the world is embracing it.  I’m quietly going about my ways and the world is responding. I’m bring wealth and abundance to myself, to Jess, to Liz and most importantly to Graeme and Maddie.  Today I can be the best I can be.  Right now I can be the best I can be. I am an artist today with a beauty to offer, with a message to inspire people with.  I feel the courage to get moving coursing through my veins.  As I get up and start my day I feel a strengh of energy bringing poeple to me. It might not be today or tomorrow that I meet them, but meet them I will.  Buy my paintings they will.  I love the sparkle of excitment that I feel in my body at the thought of the success I am creating.  The house I am building, the boat I’m buying for graeme, the visits to LA with Maddie, the house in Queenstown, the dinner parties, the oportunities open to us through the success of my art works.  I am an artist today and I love it. I’m so greatful for the being able to do something I love. To be able to make a difference to the world and to have fun doing it.

Day 9

September 8, 2010

I am 42 and I’m thinking back over the last year.  I can’t believe how fast its gone.  We have the consent and design for our house all sorted, graeme has given his work notice and we are going to start building next summer.  My first year with Jess has been a source of abundance and a source of fun.  I don’t ever remember a year when I have laughed so much.  G has become more relaxed about what he is doing.  Jess and I have found a solid working relationship which has bought us both more wealth than we expected and more fun.  Our first exhibition togehter was a sell out show.  We stood in the gallery afterwards, after everone had left and just started giggling.  Look at what we created.  Look at all the red dots.  The show which was to be open for another 4 days had not a single painting left for sale.  We took a couple of commissions over the next few days, got a pile of media interest, there hadn’t been many sell out shows in Auckland over the last few years and established a lot of attention for ourselves.  It gave Graeme the confidence to stop working for three months, to get the plans for the house sorted, and for us to take the first step in having our house.  Noelene has been a trouper. She now comes three days a week and we pay her for child support.  I have maddie two days a week and work one day a week in the studio.  I also have been working a bit in the evening, but its fun rewarding work.  It doesn’t feel like work.  I’m present and relaxed and take each day as it comes.  Liz and I have moved speedrenting on to focus our attention on creating tools for baby boomers to manage their money.  A site where people who are retired can track their assets.  Can figure out the number for this things swapping their assests to their kids for a weekly income.  We want to offer people a way to be clearer about their choices, and to have less stress and worry about money in the later years of their life.  It is taking off.   We haven’t built the site yet, but our mums and our mums friends are testing our program and are loving it.  They are feeling happier and safer and far freer with their money.  We are doing a good thing.  She is doing a good thing.  This business already has a life of its own.  We have enquires coming in every day.  We cannot get the site up and running fast enough.  It gives people tools to have conversations with their kids, with their banks, with their financial advisors.  Its gives children of baby boomer parents tools to have conversations with their parents.   It gives people a way to manage and track their money.  It is a beautiful thing.  What with helping liz, painting, having the house built and Maddie my life is full and fun.  But its not hectic or stressful.  I’m happy with today.  All I can do in this moment is fine. I am not concerned about the future. I’m happy with today and what I can do now.  It am careful not to miss out on today.  And it is a fine day indeed.

Day 8

September 7, 2010

I am 45, its been four years of stories I will smile about till the day I die.  We have just finished building the the house at Waiheke and we have just bought a setion in Queenstown that we plan to build on.  Waiheke has been such a fab project.  We started builiding it when we had no idea how we were going to do it.  We got plans made, consent drawn up and in the process the money started coming in.  My paintings started selling again.  My Day Club excursions quickly became popular in Auckland, to the point that I had a least two groups a week within a year.  During school term only.  But I would always sell at least one or two paintings and sometimes 4 or five.  It was very cool times.  Jess organised a major sponsor for me and we had our first big exhibition together in 2011.  It was my first sell out show.  It was fun times.  I started getting commissions, I started becoming very well known in auckland as both a destination to visit and an artist to collect.  By 2013 I was selling over 50 paintings a year and last year the average price was just over 5 grand.  Good times.  We rebuilt the studio first.  It is now a beautiful gallery structure with a mesine office floor where guests can also stay.  The house is still small becuase the site is still small, but its so well designed that has plenty of room.  Justin and Lou are up for a couple of design awards for the house.  I’m preying like mad they win them.  The house fits us and our life style so well its genious.  I love lying in bed and looking out at gulf in front of our house.  It wide and open and always changing.  The kids room is still small with its bunks and toys.  But kids don’t need a huge ammont of room.  We have one guest room in the house.  And only one bathroom.  It is accessed by our room like and ensuite and by the rest of the house behind the kitchen.  It was the only true compromise we had to make is not having two bathrooms.  But we had it and it hasn’t been as issue.   In queestown we have way more space and will build a totally different sort of house.  Maddie will know what its like to have a big room down there, but up here its all we need.  I have started making Dad Club booking for next year down in Queenstown as well as up here.  Graeme is about to build the studio down there first again.  That means I can start to mix my time between the two places.  Day Clubs in both places and ultimately a major exhibition in Auckland and Wellington.  And that will be enough.  Dad Club in Queenstown in a whole different thing.  It centers around flying into Queenstown for the day.  I pick folks up at the airport, we go spend an hour or two at the studio, then its off to blanket bay for lunch, then I get them back on a plane.  I also have a deal with Blanket bay whereby I come and pick up guests for a studio tour.  It is a lot of fun.

Day 6

September 5, 2010

It is a fabulous privelidge to be wealthy.  To know that you can create any weatlh you like.  To know that anything you desire is open to you, that it is already yours, and is just a matter of reeling it in.  Just as all the wealthy people I have every met just knew they were going to be wealthy, it was going to happen, I have that knowing now myself.  Something has shifted in me.  Just like when I knew I was no longer resisting being single and that a great love was on its way, I let go, I relaxed, I didn’t worry.  I enjoyed the freedom of my singleness and enjoyed the anticipation of meeting him.  Its the same with wealth.  I have no resistance to my position now.  I have no care that I have sold no paintings for the last few months.  Its of no concern to me.  I know that riches are on their way.  I know people are coming to buy my paintings.  It gives me great energy to make contacts, to ask galleries to have my paintings, to hold exhibitions.  I was doing those things with fear of failure for such a long time.  That fear is gone.  The results are coming, I just feel it in my bones.  I’m focusing my energy, now, instead of one what I’m doing wrong and fretting about not having what I want, on the joys of what is heading my way.  My studio is cleaner, my house is more lovely. I see the beautiful carpet that will sit at the bottom of my bed. I’m planning the trips we will take as a family.  I’m interested in my success as a painter.  I’m planning the paintings I will make.  I’m preparing myself for the people who are coming to visit my studio, the ones who are buying my paintings.  I’m preparing myself for the influx of demand. I’m preparing myself for the attention that will recieve.   It is fun.  It feels good to know that today I have a whole day to make the most of. I will put everything I have into today.  I won’t get today back, its a gift for me to enjoy and enjoy it I will.  I will do things today as they should be done.  Today is a day for having my house look beautiful.  For doing my hair and makeup.  For preparing beautiful and delicious foods.  Today we are already wealthy.  I will am prepared today to be a wealthy person and if the actual money doesn’t arrive today, no matter.  No matter at all.  It will come in its own good time.  And when it does it will be recieved with gratitude and delight.  There will be no regret that it didn’t come earlier.  Today I will focus on how wonderful it is that others have wealth in the world. I will feel enjoyment and greatfulness that there is wealth that others are recieving, I see it as an indication of what is possible for me.  I forgive everyone today I have ever felt angry or resentful for because of the way they spent their money, or kept it from me.  I forgive everyone today who didn’t buy a painting when I thought they should.  I will forgive myself for ever feeling like I didn’t have what it takes to create any wealth that I desire.  I am in an ocean of energy.  I open my pores and let this energy flow it.  It is love, power, grace, wealth. I have abundance flowing though me.  It is good to be alive.

Day 3

September 2, 2010

I am a grateful person.  Grateful for all the amazing people, experiences and things in my life.  I’m have turned a corner.  The cynisim I have felt in the past has dissapeared.  I handle setbacks with graciousness and ease.  I know now that nothing can stop me from being wealthy apart from my own sense of lack. And I don’t mean an esoteric sense of lack or a philosphosical debate about feeling wealthy with little, its more I know that riches are mine.  They are everyones.  It is a matter of understanding the work it takes to realise them.  Its about feeling them in the present.  I am already living in the house we are building.  I walk around the house on the site and I am in the house.  I am wearing the clothes that I desire.  And I am have a huge sense of gratititude for what I have now.  The view, the sun, the food I have in my fridge.  The creative urge is alive within, it is creating the desires I have in my mind.  And I am thrilled I have access to that creativitiy.  If there is anything I’d like to give the world it is to give each soul access to that creativity.  It difyies belife what we are as a race would be capable off if every soul got access to it.  There would be no povety.  There would only be wealth.  We would only have health.  We would only have the keen excitement of what is to come.  We would let go of where we have been.  We would dwell on the strenghts we have and the love we have and the energy available to us.  All that wanted beauty would have it.   I know the best way for me to do that is to practice it myself.  It to focus on my own creative energies.  Its to steadily move towards the desirese of my heart. It is to keep seeing myself in my house.  It is to keep seeing my art becoming more and more desireable.  I see people arriving at my studio and falling in love with my paintings.  They are touched by them.  They buy them.  They tell there friends.  I see my Day Club becoming a prestegious and well patroned excurision.  The women love it.  They always buy something.  I see my art becoming so popular that I build a new studio.  A bigger, lighter studio.  It attracts even more attention.  I have galleries want to represent me.  I have two sell out shows every year.  Jess is also becoming very wealthy because of my work.  Graeme dosn’t have to work any more, he chooses to build our houses and manage our properties.  We have an amazing life.  I have an amazing life.  Wealth is available to me now.  I am a rich person.  I am thankful for all the riches that are available to me now.

Day 2 Evening meditation

September 2, 2010

I close my eyes and I see my ideal body.  I feel its strenth and vitality.  I feel its easy and freedom of movement. I feel its muscles, tight and fit.  My body has strength.  It feels good. I desire to eat fresh foods full of life.  I like fruits and veges and food brimming with energy from the sun. My favourite is picked right then and there and eaten with the warmth of the sun still in it.  My body feel good. I trust it to let me know what it needs.  I trust it to send me the right messages for food and water.  This trust feels good.  My body is letting go of any excess fat.  It doesn’t need excess fat any more.  As I close my eyes and go to sleep tonight, my body will let go of anything it doesn’t need. It is letting go of stress.  It is slim and vital. My body is the shape I’ve always wanted it to be.  Long and lean, fit and trim.  I can wear anything I please.  I feel good in my jeans. I feel good in my heals. Light and trim and safe.  It is safe to be thin.  I walk past people who notice me, notice the good shape I’m in and I feel safe.  I get comments about losing weight and looking good and I feel safe.  My body is safe to let go of excess weight.  As I sleep tonight any excess fat I have will quickly disapear.  As I wake tomorrow I will be fitter and stronger and slimmer.  I wake feeling rested and relaxed and full of energy.  I no longer crave fatty and sweet foods.  I find them bland and lifeless.  They make me feel sluggish and tired.  My body now craves fresh and vital foods.  Foods with colour and richess.  These foods are easy for me to acess and find.  I find myself making easy food choices. I eat whatever I want whenever I want.  It is safe to eat as much as I want.  My body can be trusted.  I can be trusted. It is safe to eat whatever I desire.  I have as much as I need.  I always get as much as I need.  There is an abunance of food for me and I always get exactly what I need. I always eat the perfect ammont of the perfect foods for me.  My body is letting go of that which it does not need.  It is loved and cheriched.  It gets whatever it needs.  I am fit and vital. I can run.  I run the routeburn swiftly and quickly.  I spring into my exercise with ease and enthusiasm.  I enjoying running and feeling fit.  I run in the hills.  I push myself up the hills, running and feeling good. It is good to feel the blood course though my viens.  As I go to sleep tonight anything that is keeping me for letting go of excess fat, anything that is stopping me from being fit is leaving my body. I feel young and full of energy upon awaking.  I feel full of energy as I wake up and start  the new day.  My body feels good.  It is loved. I am safe.  My ideal body is mine upon awakening. As I sleep my ideal body develops itself.  My slim theighs, round small buttocks.  Slim, strong arms.  Long limbs.  When I close my eyes I see my ideal body. I feel my ideal body taking shape as I go to sleep.  I feel my ideal body upon awaking.  Upon awaking I make choices consistent with my body.  It is is easy and gentle and peaceful.  My ideal body is beautiful.  It feels good.  It feels safe.