Archive for August, 2010

Day 1 Vizulasation and meditation

August 31, 2010

Today is a beautiful day.  I see it stretching out before me with fun and delightful anticipation.  I will arise from my mediation full of energy and spring into my breakfast and shower.  I’ll laugh with Maddie and have fun with her little noiseies and movements.  I can feel my body and I move about the house feeling trim and tight.  It is a good feeling.  I see myself enjoying eating vibrant healthy foods.  I desire fresh frutis and veges more than anything.  Other, processed foods have lot their appeal to me, they taste bland and unsatisfying.  Breads and crackers taste bland and cardboardy.  I much prefer fruit and fish and fresh delicious foods full of vitality and life.  I feel good about my choices.  I can feel every cell in my body feeling vibrant and cared for.  Any excess fat is falling off my body. I don’t need it any more. Its very safe for me to be thin.  Its safe and healthy and I am moving towards my natural weight.  My natual, fit healthy weight.  When I feel stress today I can see myself moving my body.  Going for a short run or swinging my arms around.  I don’t need to go to the kitchen cupboard anymore.  I’m free of thoughts about needing to be thin or needing to control my eating somehow.  I eat whatever I want, whenever I want, and these days those things are full of nutrition.  They are live, vibrant choices.  My skin is glowing.  My hair is glowing.  My joints are free and easy.  My immune system is robust and alive and full of power.  It tells me exactly what it needs and I listen.  I understand when I need water, food, exercise.  I love my body. I love it in every way.  It gives me pleasure.  It feels great in clothes.  I feel safe in my body. I feel safe in my body.  When people complement me, I let go and feel protected by my guardian angle.  I feel safe.  Compliments are about them, not me.  I feel safe and free.  I eat whatever and whenever I want.  I run with lightness and swiftness.  I see myself finishing the routeburn in 4.30 minutes.  I’m fresh.  The running I do for training is fun and I feel strong and good.  The tracks on waiheke get easier and eaier.  I charge up with hills with power and lightheartedness.  I recover fast and well.  My body trusts it will be feed what it needs.  I feel safe in my body.  It tells me what it needs.  I love it.  I feel safe.  I feel free.  I feel alive with love in my body.  I drink what I want and I want lots of water.  I eat what I want and want fresh, vibrant foods.  I am satified when I eat.  I trust that I’ll always have enough.  I always have enough.  Breads and buscuits taste bland and tasteless to me.  They are bland and tasteless.  Fruits and veges are full of taste and satisfaction. They have the nutients my body is craving.  It is good to be in my body today. It is good and I’m happy to be me.

The luckiest girl in the world

August 29, 2010

I must be.  The luckiest girl in the world.  Absolutly. Think of it this way, everything that happens to me, I believe has given me richness, fullness, empathy, reward, pleasure, depth, desire, fun, emotion and much, much more.  Even the the things that at the time seemed uncalled for, depressing, hard to deal with or in other words I resisted when they happened along, with hindsight are experiences I won’t swap for anything.  Anything.  That is the thing when the realisation strikes that there is only one source of pain in this world and that is resistance to what is going on.  Let go of resistance, allow the fruits of whatever experience is being offered to you and wham, you have an amazing life.  Well, that how I see it anyway.  And so.  I wake up in the morning, without the most money, without being married, with just a tiny slightly awkward house, with only one child, with a history of self loathing and food obsession, without being the fastest or the strongest, without many thing I’ve desired over the years, with many things I’ve wanted to avoid and yet, still, I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.    Each desire now, instead of feeling depressing feels gorgeous.  Its want within me feels exciting and alive.  Each aspect of my life I don’t like, or want different feels challenging and with it rewarding.   Just like a big hill in a bike race will it be painful, sure, will it be tough, sure, would the race be the same without it?  No way.  Would I give up the hills and only take the reward at the end. Not on your life.  I like challenges.  And, I’m no longer defined by them.  I’m not a loser if I lose a race. I’m not ill if I have a disease. I’m not a failure if I fail to sell a painting.  I’m not lonely if I’m alone. I’m not a bad person if I make a bad choice.  I don’t care if I’m the last one over the finish line, if I have a life threating illness, if I do the stupidest thing in the world, from where I am, whatever my situation I can always take a step towards my desires.  I can always find a small improvement.  And I can always be happy and grateful for that improvement.  I can always find power and grace and love.  Those are the things I chose to be defined by.  And chose to see in others.  I have today to be the best I can.  I am thankful for this day.  I am alive to it.  I am living today with a future that excites me.  Of my house we are building.  Of a solid, fun, rewarding marriage.  Or a bustling busy, loving family.  Of a vibrant, art practice that calls me to paint.  Of a writer who touches millions of lives for the better.  That is worth getting up and getting into the day for.  Oh yes it is.

Flow

August 26, 2010

I have no idea what to write about this morning, so I’m just starting and seeing where it takes me.  Okay, lets start by going into the future, I’m 50.  I’ve just celebrated my 50th birthday, in Queenstown, with my extended family.  That includes Mum, Dad, partners of each, children of those partners and their kids, Jane, David, Justin and his family, Elinor and her partner, Noelene, Jo and her family and of course Graeme and Maddie.  It was a BIG, noisy crowd.  Being June it was cold, but beautiful.  We had games on the lawn, a big fire roaring inside, then a huge catered meal inside.  We had venison and duck with roast veges and salads.  We drank lots of red wine and danced into the wee hours of the night.  Even Mum and Dad, in their late 70’s were into the swing of things.  I felt so proud of everyone.  I kept stoping and feeling more grateful than ever for the amazing life I have.  The last ten years have gone from strength to strength.  My art practice took off again.  Sell out shows became the norm.  The Day Club became a coveted and well known excursion.  I had commissions booked out for six months.  I sell at least one 5k painting a week these days.  Graeme started his glass business on Waiheke and it went gang busters.  He is so good at it.  After two years he put in a manager and started building our house in Waiheke, and bought our plot of land in Queenstown.  He started building the house down there 2 years ago and we finished it just in time for my birthday – such a brilliant birthday present.  Maddie is going to go to high school in Queenstown.  She is very interested in her winter sports so has decided she would like to be near the mountains.  We spend about 2 months a year as a family in Waiheke over the summer, having beach time.  I spend about a month there by myself these days writing, painting.  I love that time to myself.  It makes me love my time with my family even more than ever.  I think they love when I go away too, because I come back refreshed, full of energy, excited to see them.  And Maddie and Graeme always have fun together.  They go on little adventures, tramping, skiing, moutainbiking.  They have a very strong bond those two, I just love it.

Next month

August 25, 2010

As the month of water comes to a close, the month of meditation, visualization draws near.  I’ve been making plans how this month will play out.  Here’s my thinking.  The best way for me to visualize and meditate is to do so by writing.  I’m going to do two writing sessions, one in the morning when I wake up – this will happen at 6.30 – as the best way to mediate, from what I can gather is to do so at the same time every day – and one in the evening, before I turn in.  The later won’t be at the same time every day, but that’s okay.  The morning one is going to be a vizualization about my health.  I will do a few minutes with my eyes closed getting present to my breath, imagining a white light glowing in my body. I will get present to the vibration and vitality of each cell in my body.  Then I’ll open my eyes, start up my computer and do 500 words vizulizeing health and vitality.  This will be very repetitive, pretty much the same every morning.  I’ll imagine each cell in my body briming with life force, communicating with me what it needs, which foods it desires, what activies it would like.  I will imagine each cell being satisfied and loved.  I will imagine myself being slim and fit and vital. I’m imagine myself running the routeburn, full of energy and finishing within 4 and a half hours.  I’ll imagine eating fresh vital foods and enjoying them. I’ll see myself sleeping well, eating well and being relaxed and revitalized.  I’ll imaging my immune system sparkling and robust.  I’ll see my skin fresh and full of life.  And I will allow my imagine to go for it.  Maybe I’ll see myself dressed in beautiful clothes.  I’ll feel good in them, slim in the them, happy and in love with life.  In the evening meditation, I’ll imagine myself wealthy with financial abunance.  I’ll see the house I’ve built with Graeme.  I’ll imagine the feeling of being inside it, enjoying the furnishing, the beauty of it.  I’ll see myself on the road to my house.  The sucessful exhibitions, the people arriving at my studio buying painting, making commissions for modern houses and big corporate collections. I’ll see the art prizes along the way.  I’ll imagine the paintings coming out of me, the flow and peace of painting.   I’ll imagine the build up and sucess of speedrenting. The mulitpling of events, the word of month spread. The bars contacting us.  The way it has become a social norm.  I will imagine Liz and I celebrating what we have achived.  I’ll bask in the happy feelings of contentment.  Of the freedom I have with money. Of the options that have become open to me. Of the fun I had along the way, of how I learned to be a wealthy person before the money arrive.  How I became greateful for what I already had. Pleased with progress.  How I learned to put nothing off. How I did everything I could to the best of my ability.  How I avoided any conversations about lack or poverty or impossibility.  How I became interested in little steps I could take rather than depressed about big chasms that seemed uncrossable. These are the things I will be writitng about every day, around the same time, for a month.

Water water everywhere and drinking every drop

August 23, 2010

That’s what happpens when you dedicate a month to drinking water, the advised amont of eight glasses a day everyday without fail.  Water appears everywhere in your life. Cafe’s, offices, friends houses, childrens play groups.  And having a glass is easy.  It has been a breeze getting my eight glasses.  Apart from the first couple of days when popping off to the toilet looked like it was going to be the dominating activity for a few weeks, its been remarkably effortless.  The toilet stops reduced as my body got used to the water.  The thing I’ve enjoyed the most is the marking it off on the blackboard each day.  Every glass gets a dash and every day so far has eight dashes next to it.  Lovely to see my efforts in black and white.  Quite apart from less hunger, less fatigue, easier feeling joints, is the satisfaction of accomplishment.  An interesting thing has happened this month.  At the same time as getting dedicated to actions involving better health, I’ve got excited about actions involving better wealth.  Its like a flood of ideas and opportunities have presented themselves to me and I’m open to them in a way that I haven’t been before. I’ve been reading things and feeling a call to put them into action.  Its all well and good to want changes, but to be prepared to do what it takes is a whole other thing.  I’m been wanting more, well, lets face it, money.  I want to build my own house, I want to travel more, I want better designed shoes made of better quality materials, I want to go see my sister in LA, I want to ski and run the routeburn, I want to visit my step mother in Boston, I want a new rug on my bedroom floor a beautiful woolen one and lamps beside my bed that please me.  I want to eat more organic food.  All these things require more money, so I’ve become very interested in what I can do to achieve that.  And just like going on a diet doesn’t lead to lasting weight loss, I’ve began to see that budgeting and scrimping most certainly doesn’t lead to long term wealth.  Just like feeling bad about your body’s aches only leads to more aches and pains, stressing about a lack of money only leads to more lack.  So, next month, along with meditation and vizulization focused on a healthy, slim vital body, I will include a meditation about abunance of wealth. I will imagine myself in my house, being free to travel, enjoying my shoes and rug and skiing with friends.  I will get clear about the feeling of it all and allow the opportunities to create those things to present themselves.  I will get myself ready to take those opportunities.  Fun times.  I’m preparing myself for the reception of greatness.  Oh yes, what a lovely way to start my day.  It’s making me excited already about September.

50 and fabulous

August 18, 2010

Okay, so its a cliche.  50 and fabulous.  Probably made famous by Samantha off Sex and the City.  But its how I feel. Maybe because I grew up with those four NYC girls, giggling with them, feeling like they were writing episodes directly from my life experience.  I can still put on old episodes, so dated now, and find it cleaver.  Maddie thinks I’m so old fashioned when I do, but I love it.  These days i’m even more like them.  With my shoes and waldrobe, my trips abroad, my best selling book.  These are the things I love.  Waiheke Island is a far cry from Manhattern Island, but its still my island and I still feel like a city girl.  I love to visit NYC these days.  My book took off there before it did here.  Which is not surprising, I guess the states was always going to be more of a market for spiritual writing.  So I am going to visit with a new publishing house.  I’ll go and see rebecca taylor while I’m there.  I always shop at her boutique when I’m there.   I’m not one for favourites, but if pushed I’d have to go with her.  Maddie is coming with me this year – her first trip to the city.  We are staying is a very cool hotel down in SoHo.  Each room is dedicated to a fictional character.  We are staying in the Madeline room – dedicated to the Madeline books.  How cute is that.  We will go to the art galleries, central park, visit the statue of liberty, eat at interesting resturants and go shopping on in SoHo.  We love poking around in little places, checking out interesting designers, trying on shoes and having fun.   G of course is going on a fishing charter – he couldn’t be happier.   I am excited about meeting my publishers.  They want to do a series of ‘work-books’ that possibly have a online aspect.  People meet in groups and go through a years process – a bit like the course in miracles, but more contemporary, more practical and as a group rather than alone. I love the idea.  I love the ripples it could cause in society. People understanding their connection to everyone else. People getting clear about their ability to create.  Competition being seen more and more as an outmoded way of thinking, scarcity becoming a thing of the past. Grace, gratefulness and prosperity thriving where it didn’t thrive before.   They are talking about doing a series of talks with Echart Tolle, I just about fell off my chair. Of all people in the world who have impacted on me, he is the one.  I would love that.  When I add all those things up togeather, I cannot help believing that being 50 is fabulous.  I mean who could?

The flight plan

August 17, 2010

Graeme and I have long since had a flight plan.  We created the idea years ago when we wanted to have a map of the future.  We thought if we want to understand what we are creating together, lets agree first on a destination.  Then, lets figure out the flight plan.  It has been the best experience for us.   We like the analogy because with any flight plan it is a well known fact that planes only ever stick to the pre planned flight path by about 5%.  Wind currents, turbulance, weather in general cannot be planned for, so when a plane takes off the pilot knows that it has to make adjustments as it goes.  Any deviation from the initial plan is expected, taken easily, and always with the destination in mind.   We have had destinations where we’ve had flight plans so far from expected it was like stopping in singapore to refuel when the expected destination was LA.  But we refueled and set off again.  Sometimes we got to the likes of a singapore and realised what we were missed and totally forgot about LA.  That is the beauty of going with the flow.  We got very good at accepting the deviations.  These days we never rile against them.  We enjoy them.  We welcome them. The always bring us an unexpected joy.  It is a nice way to live.  Some would call it the art of non-resistance.  I like that term.  Non-resistance feel gentle and calm, like a reed bending in water.  A few years ago I began taking stock of what I was resisting and activly sort to be non resistance. To accept whatever it was.  The space that opened up in my mind was the most remarkable thing.  I could harbour thoughts for days, mulling, making up conversations, resisting what was happening with a vengence.  Accepting whatever it was relaxed me.  Allowed the thoughts to subside.  It opened up room to create something new.  It allowed me to experience things I was closed too.  The flight plan you see, has given me not only a fun way to talk about the destinations we want to arrive at, but to let go of being closed minded about how we get there.  To know that I don’t always know what’s best for me.  I can’t be expected to plan for every wind current, storm, air pocket, but I can react to what happens with presence and peacefulness and not for a minute think that my destination is out of reach.  It might just take an extra, unplanned leg of the journey to get there.

Doing what needs to be done

August 17, 2010

So here’s the thing.  Intergirty.  This little word has so many meanings that it has almost become meaningless.  You don’t have to go to many organisations to find it in a corporate value statement.  We have integrity.  He or she has integrity.  So I’m going to stop using the word.  I read a long time ago now doing things as well as you can, speaking as well as you can each and every day of your life.  And doing so without becoming stressed or ‘busy’ and without compromising rest and relaxation.  This, i think is what most poeple mean when they say integrity, but in some ways makes much more sense to me because it gives direction. It feels easy to understand.  I started on this track of making the most of everything, my actions, my words, my thoughts about ten years ago and it has become a daily practice.  Hmm, that is a nice way to think of integrity – not something you ‘have’ or not, but something you practice.  Like scales. You can’t say someone has scales, but you can say someone practices scales.  And just like you get better at scales as you practice them, you get better at integrity.  i realised that I was sloppy with housework, with emails with little bits and peices.  I was often leaving things until the next day that I could easily do then and there.  that was my first ‘integrity’ practice. Making sure I was being present to what needed doing and without rushing or pushing, doing what needed to be done. Things got folded and put away if not worm.  My bed got made as soon as I got up.  Papers got put away after I had read them. My house became tidy and organised without effort.  My fridge stayed free of off food.  My shoes were always polished. My clothes always fit, were devoid of holes or pills.  I started having the best of what I could have with what I had.  I stopped buying things that were on sale because they were on sale.  I started buying clothes because I loved them.  I bought the best pots I could buy and realised I only needed one or two when they were good.  I bought the best materials for my art.  And I bought everything within my means.  I never pinched. If I couldn’t afford something, I’d either wait until I could, and it would always come more quickly than I imaged, when I did everything that needed doing, spoke with conviction and postivity and remained present to my situation.  I stopped being fearful, I started being delighted at what I could acomplish, life started to be easier the more I did. I was fun.  It was relaxing. It was what was at the heart of creating my life, letter go of competing for anything, instead adding to the world wherever I could.  It was a remarkable part of my spirtual journey.

Be cause and effect

August 12, 2010

Most of my life I thought that the enivroment around me was the cause of how I felt inside myself.  Outside was the cause and inside was the effect.  I’ve come to learn the folly of my thinking.  The illusion of it.  The more I read, the more I experience, the more I understand, I know that the enviroment around me is the effect of my thought and feelings inside me.  There is no world around me that I can experience without my interpretation.  In other words my thoughts cause the environment to be the way it is for me. That, if you read emerson, descartes, spinoza, leibnitz, schopenhaur, hegel, or the bible, if you study budism, if you take a landmark course, you will be free to create whatever it is you desire in the world.  Simple yes. Easy, no way.  It takes practice. And LOTS of it. It take courage.  It take responsibility.  It takes consistent effort.  Like learning anything, there are frustrations.  There are bruises to deal with.  There is at first clumsinss and discomfort.  But that is the work of this world.  I don’t know many people who are willing to take it on and be the cause of the effect in their environment, but when I do, they are beautiful people.  They are healthy, fit, vital, wealthy, loving people.  They are creators not competitors. They understand that health, money, love, fitness are not in limited supply.  That every individual on earth can create all these things for themselves and have them in abundance. That doing so actually creates more for others rather than less.  This lesson came to me slowly over the years.  I first heard the concept when I was about 20.  And it took me other 20 years to know it to be true and its taken me another 10 years to begin to get a semblence of mastery.  These days my health is extraordinary.  I listen to my body. It tells me what it needs.  It can heal itself swiftly and fully.  I am slim and fit and vital.  I crave vital foods.  I spring out the door in exercise.  I have easily as much energy as my ten year old daughter.  We froklick in the sea.  We run in the mountains.  I feel the energy from the earth, water, sun mingling with my body.  I have more money than I need.  And it keeps coming in.  My paintings sell before I can paint them. I have commissions six months out.  My business with liz sold for millions.  I enjoy holding the desire for what I want and watching it come to life.  This has been one of the most exciting lessons, the hardest to learn but the best rewards.  Allowing the creation of my desires to materialize.  I am surrounded in love.  I spend my days taking care to practice causing from the inside to effects I want on the outside.  I cherish the mastery I have and know that it needs as much care and attention as Maddie or any living thing.  Nurture, love and light.  That is because I can.

Practical spirituality

August 6, 2010

Doing a year of the body got me thinking.  What about a year of spiritual practice.  Like really practical activities that forward our connection to spirit.  There as so many.  I’d tried lots, was interested in lots more, and thought, what about going on a spiritual journey that takes a year and sets out to engage in a series of practices, over a long enough period of time to see what differnce the make.  Do they enchance a connection or not?  Do they encourge a sense of spiritual fulfilment?  Do they bring me closer to answer some philosphical questions?  What essensially is my experience as the result of sustained spiritual practice. This idea got me started, as y0u will know if you’ve read my book, Practical spirituality; an ordinary persons journey, on one of the best years of my life.  And most certainly was the beginning of the most productive, enjoyable, connected, happy, abunant period of my life.  In common terms, I haven’t looked back.  I haven’t keep up with a lot of the practices.  Many of them were hard to sustain (abstinance for example, or ramadan and Lent) due to their direct contrast to my life.  Suffering, I found, while a spiritual practice in some circles, wasn’t necessary in my experience to forge a deeper connection to spirit. Sure its one way, but not the only way, and one of the least enjoyable – for obvious reasons.  And not really the most sustainable way either.  So I don’t suffer much these days.  The fact that suffering in my life did get me orginally to seek a spiritual connection, I’ve found the stronger my connection the less necessity I have for it.  Others I have maintained on an almost daily basis.  Meditition, visualisation, attention to pressence, communing with nature, counting my blessing, practicing forgiveness, being giving, following my heart and automatic writing. These things have become so important to me I cannot imagine like without them.  Like Graeme and Maddie they are the things I nurture and love and take care off, making sure there presence in my life is robust and profound.  I weed and water and give them plenty of sunlight.  I take stock, ask questions, set aside time.  In other words I work for them to be good and in return I get a deep sense of spiritual closeness.  This to me is what I was always seeking in my life.  It makes all the other things I turn my attention to, building houses, making paintings, laughing with friends, running in the moutains, swimming in the sea, having dinner parties, a fresh and easy way to live.