The physical

My body, plain and simple, has got better and better over the years.  Tighter, fitter, stronger, lighter, more agile.  I eat exactly what I want these days, never paying thought to if its ‘good’ for me, fattening, thinning, or otherwise anything other than my desire.  If I step back and anaylsis it, you would probably say that I eat a very healthy diet full of vibrant, nurtritious foods.  Lots of live, raw foods.  Lots of colourful fresh stuff.  But its not designed like that.  There is no concious thought of that, its merely what I want, so its what I eat.  I dislike the taste of processed foods these days.  They seem bland and unsatisfying.  I used to crave that sort of food and try and stop myself eating it, but those cravings and longings have long since passed.  I enjoying cooking now like I never uesed to.  I take a cooking class almost every year.  I love to learn about new spices, new cooking methods, new flavour sensations.  I hardly ever make the same dish twice, unless G consistantly asks for it.  I have a kitchen that I love, which helps, of course.  Its simple and clean, light, fresh, with lots of space, but not unweildy or overly enourmous.  I have a bench in the middle that people can sit at and drink wine and eat nibbles.  I love that.  Having people in my house and kitchen and providing for them.  I buy most of my ingrediants from markets and specialty stores.  The butcher, the baker, fishmonger, the fruit and veg place. They all know me and my habits and often ofter me new ideas.  Its a cheriched part of my day, shopping for ingrediants.  The folks at the stores are fun.  I must have them over for a meal.  They often save the nicest cut of meat, freshest fish, for which I’m enternally grateful.  It makes me feel part of my community.  Part of their lives as much as they are part of mine.  Its small stuff like this that I feel satisfied with in my life.  Sometimes when I’m getting my supplies I stop and think about where I’ve come.  Wearing beautifully designed clothes on my body that has become more and more lovely over the years is a blessing I thought I’d never experience.  Yet look.  Its hear. Its to be treasured.  I think perhaps I’ll write a book about it one day.  I haven’t yet, becuase I haven’t been sure what I would write about.  But having bulemia most of my adult life, well, until maybe 15 years ago, and now being so free from it perhaps I could offer something.  But that hasn’t been my path in the last ten years.  But it could be the path between 50 and 60.  Time to be a teacher perhaps.  Nice thoughts to mull over.

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