An ocean of love

This is how I started thinking about love a few years ago. Probably about ten years ago, truth be told.  I made up an ocean.  My ocean is not like most oceans, or perhaps I should say it is like all the best parts of all the oceans we know.  It is warm, it is vast, bigger than the eye can see.  It is soft.  It is always sunny at my ocean.  The sand, if you ever do see the shore, is white and delicate and soft between the toes.  The one difference other oceans have to mine is that you can breathe under water in my ocean.  I go there often.  I swim around and watch all the wild life there.  Its healthy and fresh and full of beautiful bright fish.  When I’m in the water I know that nothing can harm me.  I can breathe, I can be with all the other animals and we feel safe with each other.  No one needs to compete for anything in this ocean.  When I swim in my ocean I know that every drop of water in it has more energy, more abunance, more wealth, more love than anything else on earth.  More energy than the hottest ray of sun. More wealth than the richest person, more love than the biggest, lovingest happiest extended family.  And all of that is available to me in the ocean.  All I need to do is open the pores on my skin and it all flows into me.  The love, the wealth, the intelligence, the security.  Whatever I feel might be lacking in my life I just open my pores and let it flow into me and through me.  When Maddie was a baby and I felt lacking in sleep, I’d go to the ocean and feel the rest of a good nights sleep flow into me.  When I felt the squeeze of financial lack I’d go to my ocean and imagine riches flowing into my pores.  Abundance is always available in my ocean.  And over the years of visiting my ocean I’ve noticed that I stopped ‘trying’ to get things.  I stopped fretting, or working hard.  I relaxed.  I believed good things were on there way.  I observed the fruits of my ocean flowing towards me in the real world.  My art works became increasingly popular, commanding larger and larger prices.  Speedrenting took off around the globe.  My relationship with Big G grew deeper and deeper.  My ability to parent Maddie became more second nature and less thought through.  Houses got built.  Holidays got taken.  Fun was had.  Laughter peels regularly from my surroundings. Everywhere I go I’m followed by fun and people who are interested in creating good times.  We often have a dozen or so people arriving for a weekend.  Gorgeous meals are created (sometimes by ourselves and sometimes we hire a chef).  Family is never far.  Not just G myself and Maddie.  But the whole Whanau.  Mum, Dad, their respective people and other children, Ellie, all the respective steppies, dating back to when we first started accumulating them.  G’s family.  Uncles, Aunties.  And then sometimes it is just us.  The three of us.  Lovely.  Just simply divine.


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